Wednesday, 13 May 2015
100W challenge
Agh! The monstrous nightmare the horrible sight the black bird. I stand frozen still on the slimy old stump prying the beast's sight is built on movement. But I soon find out it's not I run as fast as my little legs can run but it wasn't fast enough. I feel it's long sharp beak just rip at the flesh on my back. I slowly fall to my knees hopping the bird give's mercy. I knew I shouldn't of went to eat that bird food so stupid. now it's just god's decision to decide if I live or not.
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Hi Titus,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your entry into the 100WC this week. I thoroughly enjoyed the detail you put in your story and the vocabulary you have used. You have helped me to imagine what the character was feeling by your word choices. Well done!
To make your writing even better, there are a couple of places where some punctuation could have been used to make the sentences shorter and build up that sense of tension that you have tried hard to create. Keep working hard with your writing.
Mrs McG (Team 100WC)
Derbyshire, England